Just thought this was funny

There is this atheist swimming in the ocean. All of the sudden he sees this shark in the water, so he starts swimming towards his boat.

As he looks back he sees the shark turn and head towards him. His boat is a ways off and he starts swimming like crazy. He's scared to death, and as he turns to see the jaws of the great white beast open revealing its teeth in a horrific splendor, the atheist screams, "Oh God! Save me!"

In an instant time is frozen and a bright light shines down from above. The man is motionless in the water when he hears the voice of God say, "You are an atheist. Why do you call upon me when you do not believe in me?"

Aghast with confusion and knowing he can't lie the man replies, "Well, that's true I don't believe in you, but how about the shark? Can you make the shark believe in you?"

The Lord replies, "As you wish," and the light retracted back into the heavens and the man could feel the water begin to move once again.

As the atheist looks back he can see the jaws of the shark start to close down on him, when all of sudden the shark stops and pulls back.

Shocked, the man looks at the shark as the huge beast closes its eyes and bows its head and says, "Thank you Lord for this food for which I am about to receive..."

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Just thought this was funny

A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill and said, "Hey, where've you been? I haven't seen you around here much."

The twenty answered, "I've been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for a while, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?"

The one dollar bill said, "You know, same old stuff ... church, church, church."

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Hell

We don’t talk about hell anymore.  I remember growing up with the idea of hell.  If you displeased God with sin, you were going to hell.  Then someone told me that a loving God would not send you to hell.  How can he say he love me and send me to hell.   If there is no hell, then sin has no consequence and that is OH SO convenient for some people.  Without hell, I can do what I want to do with no fear of the flame.  God can’t send man to hell, but man can send you to prison, he can take your life, he can sue you in court, he can repossess your house, he can repossess your car, he can put you on a list for the rest of your life………..

Man can exact consequences, but God can’t.  Come on people.     

Free

When I was young, I remember seeing my peers that lived on the other side of the tracks.  Life seemed so much easier to live.  I did not see a visible struggle for the basics.  Food was a given, clothes were a given, braces and leather shoes were givens.  They seemed to start off at such a higher place.  For a kid living in a place where you were not sure if they lights would be on when you went home, that puzzled me.  I was for sure that life was not supposed to be this hard to live.   In turn, I never knew how much hard work went into being middle class.  I never knew that living in an upscale neighborhood cost more than living in my neighborhood.  I am talking about way more.  I did not know what it took to own a house or to really have a car.  I grew up on welfare, so much of my life at that time was free.  Even the Christmas toys were free.  My school lunch was free.  My medical bills were paid for by the State.  I thought free was equivalent until I grew up and paid for these services.  My medical treatments was different when it was paid for.  My specialist were more special, my home meant more to me after paying the taxes.  I took care of things that I paid for much better.  I eventually realized that free often was substandard.  Free came with strings attached that you did not see and often times, you really did end up paying.  David would not offer up to the Lord, that that cost him nothing.  Even if you have to buy it at the Goodwill, pay something.

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Games people play

Today, I was reading about Samson and he just disturbed me.  This GROWN man is playing riddles with the things of God like it is a common joke.  It reminded me of the games that people play.  When we get our teeth kicked in, we want to pray.  When the party is hot and the booze is free, we want to forget we are saved.  I thought it strange that a man who is supposed to be killing Philistines, would lay his head in the lap of a Philistine woman who had proven that she was unfaithful in the first two attempts to get him assassinated.  I just think that he was playing with fire.  Are you playing with fire?  Are you walking as close to the line as you can get?  Are you telling riddles and jokes with your salvation?

Richard Pryor said this, “ I don’t tell God jokes.  One day, I might wake up and it won’t be funny.”

God Knows

Romans 8:26-30

The Message (MSG)

^26-28Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.
^29-30God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun.

Mixed

A pearl of life that I am pondering on, as I watch the shadows lengthen from my classroom window , is the word “mixer”.  I am a mixer.  I float in and out of microcosms like fluid honey.  One spot tends to bore me and my taste can be exotic.  You never know what I am genuinely attracted to.  That leaves me with a rather colorful world, a world where people often ask to be introduced to my friends.  A mistake that I have made in my life has been to hold the door open for someone who would not have gotten through the door if it had not been for me.  They weren’t prepared for it.  They weren’t ready for it and they certainly made a mess once they got in there.  I have taken the motto, “What God has for me is for me” , to a new level.  I am in the process of being recreated.  My social circles are changing.  I am physically changing and that is opening doors for me.  The doors have swung so wide, that others in my life feel beckoned to come with me.  No, this door I will go through alone and if it is supposed to open for you, you will knock and it will open.

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Cake and eat it too

1 Samuel 15:24-35

24 Saul said to Samuel, “I have sinned, for I have transgressed the commandment of the Lord and your words, because I feared the people and obeyed their voice. 25 Now therefore, please pardon my sin and return with me that I may worship the Lord.” 26 And Samuel said to Saul, “I will not return with you. For you have rejected the word of the Lord, and the Lord has rejected you from being king over Israel.” 27 As Samuel turned to go away, Saul seized the skirt of his robe, and it tore. 28 And Samuel said to him, “The Lord has torn the kingdom of Israel from you this day and has given it to a neighbor of yours, who is better than you. 29 And also the Glory of Israel will not lie or have regret, for he is not a man, that he should have regret.” 30 Then he said, “I have sinned; yet honor me now before the elders of my people and before Israel, and return with me, that I may bow before the Lord your God.” 31 So Samuel turned back after Saul, and Saul bowed before the Lord.

32 Then Samuel said, “Bring here to me Agag the king of the Amalekites.” And Agag came to him cheerfully. [1] Agag said, “Surely the bitterness of death is past.” 33 And Samuel said, “As your sword has made women childless, so shall your mother be childless among women.” And Samuel hacked Agag to pieces before the Lord in Gilgal.

34 Then Samuel went to Ramah, and Saul went up to his house in Gibeah of Saul. 35 And Samuel did not see Saul again until the day of his death, but Samuel grieved over Saul. And the Lord regretted that he had made Saul king over Israel.

Say it ain't so

I have come across the most interesting of liars.  They reside in places that you would not expect to find them.  They carry hope like a torch in the sky and they talk like dreamers for they are dreamers.  I used to think that dreams and lies are as different as night and day, but it just ain’t  so.  Even your dreams have boundaries that must be respected.  Even your dreams have to be found in the word of God with respect to its laws.  I am among a unique situation where some of my colleagues are not colleagues at all.  I went to college at 18 and developed a community of peers long before we entered the wealth building of our lives.  Then there are those whose only dream is to have the same experience some 25 years later.  They think that they are my peers because we seemingly hold the same degrees, but they are not my peers.  My peers are the ones who developed with me.  The lie of the dreamer is this vain glorious thought that they would not have to reap what they sowed if they got saved.  All they had to do was wave their magic wand in the air and suddenly they would be sitting by my side without the work or sacrifice.  I don’t reject them because they don’t belong there, I reject them because they are not my peers.

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Momentum

Once upon a time there was  a young, sickly little boy who watched his world turn upside down as the stream in the front of his home dried to a swamp.  At one time, it was teeming with life, but that was before the mudslide that left his father dead and him unable to walk without a cane.  They had lived on the banks of this stream for most of their lives and the mother had no plan on moving.  She supposed she would dig a deep well and they would continue to live near the swamp.  One day, the little boy heard the voice of God tell him to go to the top of the mountain and he would restore the river.  With his word, the little boy grabbed his cane, left a note on the door for his mother and went to the base of the mountain to climb it to the top.  It took him six months to get there and he arrived in the dead of winter.  He built a shelter and rested.  On the sixth day at the top, he petitioned God for instructions for he had reached the top, yet did not know what to do once he got there.  He heard God say to find a rock the size of an orange and roll it in the snow.  He did.  Then God said to roll it again.  He did.  When it got big enough, God said to roll it down the mountain.  He did.  By this time the stone was able to roll by itself.  It rolled down the mountain and out of sight.  After the winter had passed, the young boy made it down the mountain with the spring thaw.  When he got home, the river was deep and blue and was running full of fish.  He asked his mother how it happened and she told him that a boulder, the size of the sun came down the mountain leveling trees and blazing a deep ravine.  When it rested, it melted and filled the ravine with water.  The fish began to thrive and the animals who lived on them came back.  The boy smiled and put on his swimming clothes.  Through careful calculation he dove into the water and pulled out the stone that solved the problem.  Never underestimate momentum.

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