Progressive

This morning, my mind was directed to the progressive nature of God.  I began to think about all the things that God did not give me.  He restrained his hand and something wonderful happened.  I grew up and realized that I did not want it that bad anymore.  God knows what we want and he knows the exact point at which we would no longer desire that thing anymore.  I am notorious for purchasing shoes in the moment at night when my feet are swollen and finding out in the morning that they don't fit.  I will buy shoes that looked good when when they were on the rack, but horrible when they were placed in my closet.  There were some desires I thought I would die if God did not come through for me.  I really thought that I would just die, but fifteen years later, I look back on those things and feel a bit embarrassed that I asked in the first place.  God knew that the desire was not eternal and one day I would be begging God to take back what he gave me.  I don't like being in that position.  I would rather he refuse me and allow me to grow contempt, than give it to me and watch me grow bitter.

Possession is 9/10th's of the law

     There is a law that says that a person who possesses something has an easier time proving that it is theirs.  The person who has lost possession has a difficult time proving that it belongs to him or her.  This morning, on my walk, I thought of my father.  I love him dearly but he spent most of his life in his own world.  I was his daughter, but if you gave him a twenty question trivia quiz about me, he would flunk it.  He did not know when I got the chicken pox.  He would not know my high school GPA and he would not know at what age I accepted a call to the ministry.  My father would have stuttered over the age I began to wear glasses.  If the gestapo pulled up and demanded that he prove that he was my father, he would be be hanging from the gallows.  I think about that and I think of those who take possession.  I am not saying they own it, but they certainly take possession of it.  Some people wait for someone to give it to them.  Others simply occupy the space.  I thank God for all the people in my life, who occupied the space of a father until the father I had returned.  I thank God for all the people who occupied the space of a mother until my mother was well enough to mother again.  These are the people who simply raised their hand when duty called.
      Martin Luther King, the dreamer, raised his hand and went into a battle that surely would end in his assassination.  He did not let that deter him.  He possessed his human rights at a time when he could have taken it by force, yet he chose  to simply occupy it.  He sat down at the counter and waited to be served.  He marched in front of the White House because he had a right to.  Some would say that he had no business demanding what was illegal in the south.  King possessed it anyway for possession itself is 9/10ths of the law.  I have realized that I am no longer begging to exercise my right to live my life on my own terms.  I am not going to prove to anyone that I have the right to be a minister.  I am simply going to possess it.

The Dreamer/Tribute to King
http://youtu.be/HIqb8xdKHzE

Sail On

Today, I was on the phone with a dear friend when she dropped a nuggett of truth in my lap.  She told me about Joseph from the Bible.  He had been in Egypt for years making progress, yet he never left Egypt to go find his brothers.  Joseph had so much authority that he really could have found them and made life much more difficult.  He did not seek to hurt them, nor did he seek to bless them.  The relationship that they had in the end was because they came to Egypt looking for relief from the famine.  Joseph seemed happy to see them, but he also seemed content to not seek them.  Relationships can be a struggle for me because I never know when to seek and when to let them go.  When is it time to allow someone to take a slow boat to China and bid them "farewell", as they sail on?  My social circles are always changing with people I thought would be there forever moving away and one hit wonders hitting, then you have to wonder where they are at.  In my time of need, you could not find them with a flashlight.  I guess I have to learn to be like Joseph.  Accept the fact that longevity may have been the goal, but it wasn't the manifested reality.  I guess, I should be like Joseph.  "When you need me, you will find me.  Until then, goodbye".


Sail On
http://youtu.be/w30VyJsru5E

My Irrelevant life

Today, I read in the Bible about the children of Israel as they left Egypt.  Moses told them, that the Egyptians chasing them would be seen no more.  I liked that idea.  There are three reasons why I throw things away.  First, I get rid of things that are broken beyond repair.  Next, I get rid of things that are broken but cost too much to repair.  My last thing is getting rid of things that are now irrelevant.  This is when I upgrade myself.  When I upgrade my cosmetics, I get rid of every item for which I have found a better item to replace it.  There really is a life that I used to live that I don't have to live anymore.  I don't have to be concerned with where I am going to live anymore.  Some people love to strike fear in your heart by threatening you with the life you once lived.  I was in poverty as a child.  I am not in poverty anymore.  Sometimes, I feel the twinge in my spirit of that thing sitting right outside my front door.  It's like a cool north wind that sends chills down my spine of some impending danger.  I have to remind myself that even if I return to an old place, that place would have to change and I would essentially be in a different place.  Some places I lived and the way that I had to live there, are now, irrelevant.  These Egyptians I will see, no more.