The Squeaky wheel

Once upon a time, there was a man who had a wagon.
He only oiled the wheel, when the wheel squeaked.
Later on he found that all the wheels squeaked.

Once upon a time, there was a man who had a wagon.
He oiled the wheels every two weeks.
He found that the regular oiling of the wheels still left him
with one wheel that squeaked.

He replaced the wheel.

If all you are doing in your family system is putting out fires, you will always be putting out fires.  If you spend time to really invest in your family, your problems will truly be problems and they will be few.

An Ugly truth

I hate to talk about the past.  If I had my way, I would make it all up.  I suffered many years because I did not have something wonderful to say about my family.  I wanted to say that my mother did what the other mothers did.  I wanted to say that she baked cookies and made my birthdays memorable.  I wanted to say that my father made me a "daddy's girl".  Alas, I could not paint the picture of the lovely home with the white picket fence and a dog named "Spot".  It did not exist.  I hated that fact.  More than that, I hated the fact that the only words I could use to describe my family were the words no one wanted to use to describe their family.  I don't remember how long I suffered because of that.  One day, I decided that it would be what it would be.  I am going to let it stay wrong and not worry about it.  I am not going to try to explain it with finesse.  I have found that the truth should always be acknowledged even if it is an ugly truth.  I know it is a sad story, but it is the only story I have to tell.