Walk Away

Mark 11:12-25New International Version (NIV)

Jesus Curses a Fig Tree and Clears the Temple Courts

¹² The next day as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus was hungry. ¹³ Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit. When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs. ¹⁴ Then he said to the tree, “May no one ever eat fruit from you again.” And his disciples heard him say it.


Jesus was outside of Bethany when he cursed the fig tree.  Then Jesus walked two miles to Jerusalem to drive the charlatans out of the church.  Then the next day, he walked two miles back to Bethany and his disciples saw the fig tree that had been cursed the day before.  All Jesus did was drop the word and keep going.  I have a habit of wanting to stand around to make sure God's word works.  I have learned that I don't have to do that. You don't have to stand over his word to see if it works.  One of the hardest things to do is to simply leave the word and walk away. You pray for healing and then go about the rest of your life.  You quote the scripture and then leave the word to do the work.  Meanwhile, you keep on working.  You keep on praying.  You keep on keeping on and when you come back to the fig tree on your way to do something else...................it will be withered.

Your later will be Greater

The progression of most people is that they start out as a blank slate.  Life gets filled with the goings on of the day and it becomes more complicated.  Marriage and children and school and pta meetings fill your agenda until you are an empty nester.  Then life slows to a crawl and you die on a golden pond.  What if God wanted to do something different.  Let's say, backward.  You are born in oblivion and lived a meaningless existence laboring in other people vineyards but never drinking the wine.  Then one day when your bones are creaking and your hair is gray, you find love and legacy wrapped in the same box.  You find money hidden in the crevices of your life that you thought were lost forever.  You look up and you are living the life denied in your early years and you go down...................in a blaze of Glory.

Haggai 2:9 Context

⁶For thus saith the LORD of hosts; Yet once, it is a little while, and I will shake the heavens, and the earth, and the sea, and the dry land; ⁷And I will shake all nations, and the desire of all nations shall come: and I will fill this house with glory, saith the LORD of hosts. ⁸The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, saith the LORD of hosts. ⁹The glory of this latter house shall be greater than of the former, saith the LORD of hosts: and in this place will I give peace, saith the LORD of hosts.

Although the fig won't blossom

I am in the stage of life called transition.  Hormones that use to reign and dominate are fading away.  Sleep alludes me and pain comes without invitation.  My mind weighs heavy on the things of the past and the uncertainty of the future.  Transition is a funeral of sorts.  You say goodbye to what you will never be again and tremble at what you are becoming.  It is joyful and tearful at the same time.  I go from ecstatic to weeping within the same turn of the second hand.  Being a dark person, I like this time.  The stalls are empty, the figs won't blossom but I hope in God.  I know he is up to something truly wonderful in my life even though this has been one big battlefield.

Habakkuk 3:17-19
¹⁷ Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls:
¹⁸ Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation.
¹⁹ The Lord God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds' feet, and he will make me to walk upon mine high places. To the chief singer on my stringed instruments.

He won't Suffer it..........

I am learning how strong God's word is in this season.  My doctor's looked for everything God said I would not have.  They were convinced but they did not move God's word.  It reminds me of concrete.  I did not know how strong and long lasting his word was until man tried to move it and could not.  Man tried to chisel it and could not.  I tried to bulldoze it and could not.  His word is unmovable.  His declarations are truest to the upmost.

Isaiah 46:10
Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure:

God knew, but man did not know and His word.................stood.

Smiling

I don't quite know how people live without faith.  I don't know what I would do if I did not have options.  The one thing I know about God is that he never runs out of options and because of that, I never run out of options.  Recently, I spent some time in the hospital faced with people who looked like they were at the end of their road.  I wanted to lean over and ask them if they had tried Jesus.  I don't know where I would be without Jesus.  The best part of salvation, in Him, is that the sun is always coming over the horizon.  Tomorrow can always be a better day.  The rain can always stop or the drought can always end.  I believe suicide happens because they can see no way out.  Even if God sat on his throne and did nothing, there is still that possibility and that is comforting.  At least in his killing, he can kill me softly.  Life still has that glimmer like the moonlight on a still pond.  In the midst of a warzone, you can smile and .....................I am smiling.

The New Me for the New Life

Recently, God is remaking me.  It began with weight loss to the tune of forty pounds.  I gave up growing hair and began to rock wigs.  I found a new freedom in the wigs.  I was able to come off of a lot of the medication.  My blood pressure was awesome.  I had to take a potassium supplement but it has not been to bad.  When God wanted to remake my mind, I bucked like a wild horse.  I didn't think I needed a pill.  I went into spiritual counseling which was wonderful, but I still needed something to deal with the physiological symptoms of anxiety.  I remade my makeup to include a face powder and a red lipstick and I don't stress about dishes anymore.  I didn't think I would enjoy this process, but I have to allow the Lord to have his way.  This......................is His way.

An Old Problem

When I was young I remember things that I would rather forget.  One of those things was a period of time when I began to pull out my hair.  My family had gone through significant trauma and most of the responsibility rest upon me.  I soldiered it like a soldier but it took it's toll.  I bit my nails down to the quick, and I began to pull out hair on the left side of my head.  I had a noticeable bald spot. I slept or went to bed as early as I could but laying awake I always relived my own victimization.  At the age of 15 I began to pack on the weight.  By the time I was out of High School, I weighed 200 pounds.  While in college, I ballooned to the weight of 275 and stayed there for most of my twenties and thirties.  Every evening at around 8:00pm, I went into a period of sadness.  I combatted these things with music and finding something to do but when I prayed I had to watch myself because my prayers in the evening were always negative.  I blamed God for where I was in my life.  I questioned God about why I had to live the life I had to live.  In the morning, it was alright.  Then as I moved into my forties, my night terrors moved into the day.  I began to be anxious about negative things all day long.  I began to be negative.  The only thing that helped was secular music.  Christian music only reminded me that I God had forsaken me.  One day, the perfect storm was hatched for me.  I experienced sickness that sparked me to grieve for my family again.  Then I became anxious like I was as a child, waiting to the next disaster to take place.  My doctor asked if I needed a pill and I rebuked him.  It took a month, but I started the pill.  It has been three days and there has been a difference.  For once in my life, I can stop forboding at least for now.