Today, I had a student for which it was her birthday. She was old enough to really start enjoying some freedom, yet on the eve of such a great event, she lost her freedom. When I asked her why she chose to do what she did, she said that she wanted to spend her birthday with someone special who has not been in her life for years. I don’t think she can even pick this person out of a lineup if her life depended on it. While she chases the life she wanted, she was ruining the life she has. I began to think of all the dreams and visions I had as a young woman. I don’t regret that because I needed those dreams. They kept me living until some cruel reality and some truth settled in. I am not a baby and I can handle it. I realize, that to a certain extent a great number of my dreams were specific to a place in my life that I am no longer at. I simply outgrew them. At one point, I dreamed of being like my peers, but then one day, I could care less about my peers. Now, I have to let go of the life I thought I wanted to live and simply live the life I have. I ripped open the hope chest and gave myself a bit of hope. My goal is not to save something wonderful for a place in my life, but to enjoy something wonderful every day of my life. And I expect to live a long, long, long time.
No comments:
Post a Comment