The Promised Land

Sometimes, I marvel at how immature my mind was or how much I learn after I thought I had learned enough.  I so desperately want to leave.  Leaving is something that is always on my mind.  It is the impending sense that something else is waiting for me at the end of the rainbow.  If I just can make some steps to place myself in the land of my dreams, then my dreams will come true.  I feel inhibited by the constraints of an ordinary life, and I have nothing but contempt for those who just go to work and come home.  I also understand that all I ever wanted was ordinary.  I dreamed of living in a normal home with a normal husband and normal children.  It is actually the first dream I had.  In reality, I had a sick mother, an absent father, a sea of pedophiles for relatives and everyone I knew was broke.  When I got old enough to ask, I asked about the existence of this place in my dreams.  Many wanted same thing but, they weren't there either.  We all were sojourners on the way to the promised land.  I learned that even " The Promised Land" will have giants and Hittites.  No place is coming without it's issues.  No church will be perfect.  No school will be perfect.  No one will have a carefree life.  Somehow, I think that when I get up the road a piece, I will see the sun shining right where I am and realize that I was there the whole time.