Where are you aiming

Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.
C. S. Lewis

I have always known that I was going to have a great deal of influence in my life.  I could sense it as a child.  That is not boastful, it is just the truth.  When I became a Christian at the age of twelve, my goal was not to be influential.  I was twelve.  I wanted to blend in with my peers, I wanted to be cool and I wanted everyone to like me.  Well, in Christendom, that never happened.  My manner of dress set me apart, my peers ran from the church to the club,  and even adults did not like me.  I learned to be cool with myself.  I grew up in a society that only rewarded failures, so bright stars were told to shine less so that others could be comfortable.  My Bishop was not like that so I cleaved to him and his wife.    Now that I am well past twelve, I am the coolest person I know, I blend in with my peers and the people who are close to me, like me.  I guess aiming toward heaven was better than aiming toward earth.

Thoughts from C. S. Lewis

A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell.
C. S. Lewis

When I have been angry at God, I have sat in church refusing to worship him as if that means he will take his ball and go home.  I face the wall and refuse to even sing.  I am not a big stander, but when I am angry, I won’t even sway.  It was petty and useless because at the end of the day, I was still mad and God was still God.

Too much attention

I think there comes a time when one can lose their touch with humanity.  You can be all alone on an island created by you in which you feel the whole earth revolves around you.  Being out and about in the world gives you the sense that the earth is moaning and not just you.  You see that problems aren’t just on your front doorstep, but they have been mailed to a myriad of people.  Not only can you see problems, but you can see solutions.  When I talk to people who are just like me, I find someone older and wiser.  I found someone who has already been where I have just arrived and it makes life sweeter.  You can’t afford to lose touch with the race to which you belong.  I am not talking about that superficial thing we call color, but the essence of our very beings that I call……………human.

From another's Perspective

Sometimes, I struggle with seeing things from another person’s perspective.  It all becomes perfunctory if I see it as relating to myself.  In that sense, I was always taking things personally.  In my life, there was a friend who stopped speaking to me.  Whenever she saw me, she rolled her eyes and acted like I did not exist.  I wanted to be liked and I did not want strife at that time.  One day, I realized how pathetic her life was.  I realized that her treatment of me was really a function of how she lived and if it wasn’t going to be me, it would have been someone else in our collegiate world.  One day, I saw her on the bus and life had rode her hard and hung her up wet.  I could see that she wanted to say something, but my stop came and that interaction would be over.  I have not seen her for almost twenty years.  I learned something from her.  Sometimes, you have to grow a thick skin and not take people personally.

What God has for me is for me

In living a life without regrets, we are often faced with the consequences of our own decisions.  Most of which were made years and years ago, when we were small and a bit confused.  Now, that we are old enough to realize that some of those decisions weren’t the best, we reach for a scripture to say that we can still lay claim on what we so despised when life was simple.  I find that regrets usually creep up when you find yourself in the company of a person who has what you despised and in yourself, you think “Why can’t I have what she has”.  We even create doctrines based on that.  We say things like, “What he has done for others, he will do for you”.  I have never believed that whole heartedly because God does not have to provide for you the exact same way that he provides for someone else.  My case in point is the Red sea.  That sea was divided for the Israelites to cross over.  Pharoe pompously thought to enter into the provisional grace that was only meant for Israelites.  Because the grace was not there, the waters closed up over their heads and they drowned.  You have to embrace what God has for you and that may be different than what God has for someone else.  It may not be the same, but it comes from the same God and that should be your focus.  Your template is God, not someone else’s blessings.

Moses and his Storm

Numbers 20:10 He and Aaron gathered the assembly together in front of the rock and Moses said to them, "Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?" Here we know that God told Moses to speak to the rock and it would produce water for them.  Moses has been caught up in a storm and has lost focus.  At the beginning of his time leading the people, he was interfacing with a pharoe who thought he was God and God had to show his might.  Now, Moses is in the wilderness after he has risked life and limb to save the Israelites and they are rebelling on every hand.  Moses is getting upset and he is also getting out of focus.  Instead of being focused on what he was supposed to be, he became focused on the failings of the people.  Somehow, he confused God with himself.  It was not him bringing the water from the rock, it was God doing the miracle through him.  He was simply a servant.  He failed to honor the God he worked for in front of the people.  He had by default replaced God and had become a god himself.  That landed him in the grave and the task of leading the people to the wilderness into the hands of Joshua.  In the midst of a storm, he made the wrong decision and that decision was costly.

Need to Breathe

Los Angelos was my father's nemesis.  He had asthma and the air in LA was a death sentence.  The basic essential of clean air is up for grabs in LA.  People are trying to make things better, but it's not country fresh yet.  My father did the next best thing.  He went no where near Los Angelos.  He stayed away from the city and moved to the Bay area, where he could breathe.  Fresh air was essential.  Breathing in God is similar.  The move of the Holy Spirit is like the wind circulating in the air.  It keeps you from fainting.  It keeps you from dying and it keeps you able to live.  Never go to places where you can't breathe.  If the spirit is not there, you don't be there.