Victims are people who have consequences of actions not necessarily begun by them. These are the people who were given a raw deal. These were the people given a bum rap. They are the unfortunate recipients of another’s actions and unfortunately the problem is theirs. Ownership is a hard pill to swallow. I can remember when I had many consequences from actions not begun by me. It was simply on my plate and served. For years, I sat in the black church and told my story until people got tired of hearing it. It took me a while to figure out, but then I got it. It was not their problem. Why should they own it? Most of the problems they glorified were to perpetrators. I was the one who took care of the drug addicts children and the wayward mother’s children and the abandoning father’s children. I received the action of the perpetrator, but all the programs were for drug addicts and single mothers. I was a victim that was ignored. I took my problem and decided that it was my problem to solve on my own terms. I actively sought the help of people who could help me solve my problem. One of the greatest times in my life for rebuilding was when God led me away from black Pentecost into a predominantly white church with progressive African Americans in them. Being a pregnant high school drop -out got you pity, but no praise. They were looking for black people who could cut the mustard and I sliced that puppy up into a thousand pieces. I healed there. I enjoyed my time there. When I realized that it was better for me to own my problems and solve my own problems, I stopped depending on the pastor and started depending on God to guide me to make the right choices in my life. My realization caused me to become a card carrying black conservative republican. I have no apologies for who I am because I found myself in the hard knocks of life. It has been a pleasure, finally taking hold of my life and choosing what is the best course. When I don’t, I will own it because that is my problem, not yours.
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