Let the race....................end.

My mother's life long obsession was her sister Valerie.  There were eight years between the two of them.  The only reason why my mother decided to go back to school when she was twenty eight is because Valerie was in college.  I remembered that.  She went to Ohio State University and was applauded for being one of the ones who did.  My aunt Queen celebrated her and she had the support of her family.  My mother was happy working in diners and living on aid until Valerie went to college.  Some say, change is good no matter the impetus, but that is wrong.  My mother changed because she was in competition.  She disrespected my aunt something fierce because she secretly wanted to be my aunt.  When I came along, I was smart like Valerie.  Her insecurities came back up and she started competing again with me.  My mother entered into races that she never could win.  Someone is always better than you at something.  You will never measure up to humanity and my mother never did.  When she realized that, she became nasty.  She treated other women like plagues and had few friends.  Her self-esteem did not exist.  I can remember a time when I had to have my college transcripts.  There was the semester that I dealt with my mothers death.  I can remember this person remarking that their grade point average never fell below an "A".  I told her that I lost my mother, but for one second she thought she had finally beaten me.  I had a bad semester because I lost my mother.  She failed in life on her own accord and somehow she compared that to me.  She was competing against me like we in a race to the place called, "Arrived".  How pathetic she was.  That was energy wasted.  I pray that we as sisters can stop using each other as measuring sticks, and stop competing with each other.