Too

When the prophet, Jeremiah, had to prophesy that the children of Israel would go into exile, it was not well received.  No one wants to hear that a storm is coming.  Some of them foolishly stayed in Jerusalem while the rest were headed to Babylon.  Jeremiah did not just leave them with the words of exile, but he also gave them words of instruction.  He said,

 

Build a home, Plant a garden, Marry and have children, Pray for the peace of Babylon.

 

 

These are the words he gave so that they could survive the seventy years.  I interpret them as this.

 

Build a home so you are not too cold, Plant a garden so that you are not too hungry, Establish a family so that you are not too lonely and Pray so that you have hope.

 

Difficult situations are just that, they are difficult, but the sun shines on your good days and your bad days.  Enjoy it.  There are still things to smile about in your bad days.  Make your home your sanctuary.  Make it the place where you can lay your head down and find peace.  Keep your refrigerator stocked with foods that bring you pleasure and good health.  Don’t neglect your meal times.  Take time to eat a good meal.  Make sure you have plenty of opportunities to socialize.  Pray without ceasing.  It gives you hope for a better day whether you will be alive to see it on this side or the other side.  You don’t have to live a defeated life just because you are in Babylon.

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Embrace the shadows

I am now a mature woman in my forties and I think I can safely say that I have learned to embrace every part of who I am.  At a young age, I had a very small system of support of which all was gone by the time I reached  forty.  My brothers were absent or dead.  My parents were fertilizing daises and my family was limited to calls on Christmas or Thanksgiving.  At some point, I had to learn how to embrace loneliness.  I wore it like a scarlet letter until I decided that I was going to embrace it.  I spend so much time alone, that I feel violated by those willing to take up my precious thinking time with vain repetition.  I got comfortable with death.   I walk through cemeteries just for the peace of it.  I can wear black every day.  I dance in the rain. I play melancholic music and I cry every evening for cleansing.  I used to be ashamed of my journey.  It seemed like God had cursed me with a lonely life.  Now, I embrace every solitary moment.  It is my portion.   I have sunshine in my life.  I have my share of greatness, but I don't struggle to embrace that.  No one has to tell me show off my trophies.  I embrace that.  No one has to beg to see my degrees.  I embrace that.  It's the shadows that I want to leave hidden.  It is the shadows that I want to leave behind.  I have heard people say, embrace the light.  I say, embrace the shadows.

Total Eclipse of the heart
http://youtu.be/ykexpgHrTkI
 

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It's OK

At one time in my life, I had to a get exactly what I wanted from God and everyone else.  I had ideals.  I had dreams that would float me out the nearest window.  I enjoyed that time.  As I got older, I had to reassess those ideals to see if I wanted to put the effort into it.  Some, I put my whole heart into.  Some,  I abandoned.  I am not in that place anymore.  No, where I am is in the place where I understand that there are some things that are simply not going to happen in my lifetime.  If I was younger, I would cry my brown eyes blue, but I don’t have to have that now.  It is perfectly alright that my portion has what it has and doesn’t have what it doesn’t have.  I don’t want what is not mine and all that I have I will own.  It may be darkness, it may be sadness, but it is mine.  It may be challenging and it may be overwhelming at times, but it is mine.  I find that is O.K. to embrace the part of you that you don't want to embrace.  I don't have to dress up the rough spots and smooth over the dry patches.  I don't have to believe for something that I will never have just to seem pious.  It's really O.K.  That is a good place to be.

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Bliss

Today, I went to see my old hometown.  It was a press, since I literally had to find someone to go with me.  Traveling down the highway through the familiar place that I know as home, my heart began to lift.  As I saw the land begin to roll like gentle foothills and the vast cornfields turn to forest with deer, I cried inner tears.  Oh how I remember this place because it was the place I met God.  I still remember the day in January.  It was a warm winter because we never had really cold winters.  I told God that I would give him a try for a week.  That week has turned into almost 30 years.  When I go back home, I still can see the church where I got saved and the church where I got filled one block from each other.    I see change and I see rebuilding.  I see old icons walking down the street and faces I have never seen.  Despite the changes, I really love this two horse town.  I guess you can call it bliss.

Georgia by Ray Charles
http://youtu.be/yZceOIAh1i0

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Dying everyday.

1 Corinthians 15:31

New Life Version (NLV)

³¹ I say this, Christian brothers, I have joy in what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for you. That is why I face death every day.

It is hard to face death.  I have had to entertain it for my times than I thought necessary.  I guess you are wondering about physical death.  Yes, I have faced that too, but the death that I endure most often is internal death.  There are parts of me that try to live.  They keep coming back like zombies in the night.  I killed them once before, but they don't stay dead.  They want to be resurrected because Satan is a master counterfeiter.  He wants to do what God does.  God resurrects dead things and Satan wants to resurrect the dead things in your life.  He keeps those old memories of past failures, past victimization and past hurts ready to come back and haunt you.  Well, if you killed it the first time, just get your Bible and kill it again.  Sometimes, you have to do it once and it never comes back.  Other times, you have to do it daily.  In certain seasons, you will kill it at six o'clock and then see it walking in your living room at nine.  Just kill it again.  You may have to starve it by giving it no attention.  You may have to strangle it by choking the life out of it.  You may have to pray and get some help to cast it.  You may have to just lay down and sleep on it, knowing that it cannot live in the light of the new day.  Yep, sometimes, you die once and other times, you die daily.  Lord hep us.


Thriller by Michael Jackson

http://youtu.be/ZEHsIcsjtdI
 

Help me make it through the night.

There comes a time, at the end of the day, when unavoidable battles creep into my brain.  This is the stuff I worked over in the day so that I did not have to acknowledge it's presence.  In the night time, It comes because it knows that I have nothing else to cover it with.  I can't sing a million songs or write a million poems, I just have to now get through the night.  Now, there used to be a time when dead bodies were buried in the parlour of the home or the living room.  A piece of gauze was laid on the body and it would wait burial the next day.  Well, when the body was in the home, visitors would come by to help you pass the night.  They wouldn't come to talk, or even be visibly seen in their chair in the corner, you just knew they were there if you needed them.  They may bring a pie or a piece of fried chicken or a bottle of homemade wine.  Their only purpose is to make sure you don't spend this difficult night alone.  God is like that.  He makes sure that you don't have to spend the worst moments of the evening by yourself.  He sits up with you through the night.  In the morning, the body is laid to rest and you may not have another event like that for the next twenty years, but when you do, God will set up with you through the night.



Help Me Make it Through the Night Norah Jones, written by Kris Kristofferson.
http://youtu.be/a0Fb0cuQyMg