Embrace the shadows

I am now a mature woman in my forties and I think I can safely say that I have learned to embrace every part of who I am.  At a young age, I had a very small system of support of which all was gone by the time I reached  forty.  My brothers were absent or dead.  My parents were fertilizing daises and my family was limited to calls on Christmas or Thanksgiving.  At some point, I had to learn how to embrace loneliness.  I wore it like a scarlet letter until I decided that I was going to embrace it.  I spend so much time alone, that I feel violated by those willing to take up my precious thinking time with vain repetition.  I got comfortable with death.   I walk through cemeteries just for the peace of it.  I can wear black every day.  I dance in the rain. I play melancholic music and I cry every evening for cleansing.  I used to be ashamed of my journey.  It seemed like God had cursed me with a lonely life.  Now, I embrace every solitary moment.  It is my portion.   I have sunshine in my life.  I have my share of greatness, but I don't struggle to embrace that.  No one has to tell me show off my trophies.  I embrace that.  No one has to beg to see my degrees.  I embrace that.  It's the shadows that I want to leave hidden.  It is the shadows that I want to leave behind.  I have heard people say, embrace the light.  I say, embrace the shadows.

Total Eclipse of the heart
http://youtu.be/ykexpgHrTkI
 

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