At one time in my life, I had to a get exactly what I wanted from God and everyone else. I had ideals. I had dreams that would float me out the nearest window. I enjoyed that time. As I got older, I had to reassess those ideals to see if I wanted to put the effort into it. Some, I put my whole heart into. Some, I abandoned. I am not in that place anymore. No, where I am is in the place where I understand that there are some things that are simply not going to happen in my lifetime. If I was younger, I would cry my brown eyes blue, but I don’t have to have that now. It is perfectly alright that my portion has what it has and doesn’t have what it doesn’t have. I don’t want what is not mine and all that I have I will own. It may be darkness, it may be sadness, but it is mine. It may be challenging and it may be overwhelming at times, but it is mine. I find that is O.K. to embrace the part of you that you don't want to embrace. I don't have to dress up the rough spots and smooth over the dry patches. I don't have to believe for something that I will never have just to seem pious. It's really O.K. That is a good place to be.
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