Apples and Oranges

Apples and oranges.  Aging is a beautiful process.  Once upon a time, I looked at my foot and it looked like the hundreds of cute feet that graced a pair of sandals in my second grade class.  Now, at the age of forty-one, time and hardship have shown up on my feet.  They are marked by spills I took in a pair of high heeled shoes.  They are marked by hematoma's that left me scared.  They are marked by muscles torn by falling arches.  I look down and I wonder about my feet.  These are not my feet.  I don't remember these feet.  I look at my hair and I see that this is not the full head of hair that I once had.  I look at my shape and I see bulges where they did not exist and then there is that backside.  Where did it come from?  I am being made unique simply by the fact that time has chiseled out a whole nother' person.  I am truly and not the same person that I used to be.  No one told me that when I reached this age, I would not be an apple anymore.  I would be something so different than what I once was.  I realize that I can't even go back to where I once was.  The person who enjoyed being in that place no longer lives.  Just like my body has responded to time, my emotions have as well.  Somethings, I can't cry about anymore.  I still feel grief, but I can't cry about that anymore.  Some desires that consumed my younger days, are being replaced by other desires that I never knew I would be left desiring.  My goals are different.  I am different.  It is like I woke up and realized that the person who laid down the night before must have died in her sleep.  Who is this person that I am now?  What do I want now?  Where am I going to go now?


Theme from Mahogany
http://youtu.be/c3uatcJqt54